


How to Ruin a Confession

by ohimesama



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ALSO MIGHT HAVE ADDED A FEW MORE LOVE CHILDREN SWEATS, Awkward Conversations, Bad Flirting, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Love Confessions, M/M, Sex Education, Sex Talk, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Rivalry, sweats idk whose last names they would hve, this revolves around the iwaoi twins anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-10 18:17:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4402274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohimesama/pseuds/ohimesama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Do you know who Yoichi likes?"</p><p>"Sorry, sworn to secrecy." Yuki told him.</p><p>Oh, so he's hiding it from me. Sachihiro thought as he squinted his eyes.</p><p>"I'll pay you a thousand yen if you tell me." Sachihiro bribed.</p><p>"It's the captain of Karasuno. He's gonna confess on Friday. You didn't hear it from me." Yuki quickly admitted. "Now, where's my yen?"</p><p>(hq! love children belong to noranb!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Ruin a Confession

**Author's Note:**

> things that need to be cleared before we continue:
> 
> maki = matsuhana lovechild  
> yuki = kinumi lovecild  
> mikoto = kyouhaba lovechild
> 
> these were some love children i made up for this story so yeah
> 
> anyways please enjoy!

"Alright, Yoichi, you came here for a reason, am I correct?" Maki teased, joining her hands together. "You wanted advice on how to confess to your crush, right?"

"You know, I can't take this 'love session' seriously if all you're gonna do is piss me off." Yoichi said.

 Maki's light burgundy hair was pulled back into a high ponytail with a thick headband holding back her bangs, and she was also wearing a rosary and a funny looking tunic. There was also a snow globe in the middle of the kotatsu, not in motion however. Yoichi didn't understand why she looked like some fortune teller when she was giving him love advice, but oh well, he didn't question Maki's antics.

"You come into  _my_ house, ask  _me_ for advice, and then  _talk back to-"_

"Fine, fine, sorry, jesus." Yoichi interrupted, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes. "Can we get on with it now?"

Maki let out a small giggle, as she moved her hands around the snow globe and closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths. Why was she into this so much? And why is she still acting like a fortune teller?

She let out a deep breath, then her eyes shot back open, and her mouth formed into another grin as she stared at Yoichi happily. 

"The man you told me about seems like the kind of guy to accept any kind of confession. Really sweet and warm to others, kind of a laid back guy as well. I think," She clapped her hands together again as she continued. "-you should just confess to him normally. Preferably in private, he seems like someone who gets flustered easily as well." 

"But the problem is," Yoichi pointed out. "Is that he goes to another school. He doesn't go to Aoba Jousai."

"Oh?" Maki let out with surprise, tilting her head slightly to the side. "This is new information. You should've have told me this. Then, where does this guy go to?"

"Karasuno."

"W- W- W- W-  _What?!"_ Maki hollered, banging her fists on the table as she leaned toward Yoichi with big, obviously shocked eyes. 

Suddenly, the door swung open and they both turned their heads. 

"Hey, you two, keep it down, I'm trying to-" Maki's father eyed her. "Maki, what the _hell_ do you think you're wearing."

Maki stood up and stomped her feet as she whined, "Daaaad! I told you to knock, I'm in the middle of something important!"

"Something important, ah?" Her Dad echoed, looking back and forth between Maki and Yoichi, before tossing Yoichi a condom. 

"Don't be too loud, and if you hurt my baby, my husband and I will kick your ass." Is all her Dad told them before he shut the door and walked away.

Maki and Yoichi stared at each other for a pretty good amount of time before yelling  _"Ew!"_ and looking away.

"Oh my god, Dad I swear to god-"

"Ew! The thought of us  _together_ is already making me want to barf!" Yoichi spat.

Maki groaned before turning him around, her hands on his shoulders. "We need to focus on your  _love life_ here! We're off topic!" She said as she shook him.

Yoichi put her hands back to her sides before sitting down again, Maki also going back to where she sat. 

Maki cleared her throat before speaking again. "Anyways."

"Yeah." Yoichi added, looking away.

"Who is it? Is he from the Karasuno team?" Maki asked, controlling her voice to a quieter level.

"Yeah- Yeah. That's kind of the reason I don't want to tell Sachihiro about this." Yoichi explained. "But, it's that guy. Hotaru, I think? I don't know. I just want to fuck him senseless, or him to fuck  _me_ senseless-"

"Ew, ew, I didn't ask for anything  _that_ specific." Maki butted in with disgust. "Look, I don't really care if he's in Karasuno that much anymore- the problem here is trying to confess to him. How're you gonna do it? Just show up randomly at his school and try to find him?"

"Well, what do you suggest?" Yoichi asked.

"It may seem complicated, so you might have to write it down."

* * *

"Dear Hotaru- Ugh, boring. Hey, Hotaru- No, that's too friendly. Yo, Hotaru- No, Fucking-" Yoichi crumpled the paper into a ball and tossed it into the trash can, just as soon as Sachihiro opened the door, brushing his teeth.

"Yoichi, you're a  _tad_ bit loud, can you maybe lower your volume down a little?" Sachihiro asked, a hand on his hip, before looking at the trash can and pausing his actions. "What are these?"

Yoichi sat up, alarmed, and began rambling, "Shit- Um, N-None of your business! Dumbass!" 

"Why are you insulting me! I haven't even-"

"Just leave me alone! Besides, you're still brushing your teeth! Don't you have somewhere to be? Just go!" Yoichi successfully pushed Sachihiro out the bedroom and shut the door behind him and locked it, sighing in relief.

Sachihiro landed on the floor before the door behind him slammed shut, and he was clueless as to why Yoichi was acting so strange all of a sudden.

He stood back up and went back into the bathroom to spit out the foam in his mouth and rinse. He wiped his mouth clean with his arm and then said to his own reflection, "There's something going on."

Just as he exited the bathroom, he bumped into his two fathers.

"Oh, sorry, Dads!" He apologized. "I'm in a rush."

"It's fine, Sachihiro~" One of his fathers chirped in response. "Go on, now, don't leave your friends waiting."

"Alright, see you at dinner," Sachihiro said before walking away.

Hajime and Tooru knocked on their sons' door, Hajime's arms crossed and Tooru tapping his foot impatiently, both of them with a stern look on their face. 

Yoichi groaned, as he yelled, "Go away, Sachihiro! I want to be alone!"

"It's us, Yoichi." Hajime announced behind the door.

Yoichi went and opened the door to his quite infuriated parents. 

"Hey, Dads, what's up?"

"I received a call from Maki's parents earlier." Tooru told his now pale-looking son. "Apparently, he interrupted the two of you having  _fun."_

"Dad, I-"

"Yoichi, I can't believe that  _you_ would be the one to do something like this. I'm very disappointed." Hajime added.

* * *

 Just as he was about to leave, Sachihiro remembered that he forgot his phone in his room, and immediately went back to go retrieve it before overhearing the conversation going on between his Dads and his brother.

"Underage sex is  _absolutely unacceptable."_ He heard one of his Dads lecture.

Sachihiro blushed. God, Yoichi had  _sex_ with someone? Most importantly, he lost his virginity  _before him?_

"Not to mention, Maki's parents were quite upset at the fact that their little angel just had sex with their friends' son. Especially Maki's other Dad, he's keeping his eye on you from now on." 

Wait. Yoichi... Had sex with  _Maki?_ How could he not tell him about this? Also, isn't Yoichi gay? He came out to Sachihiro a long time ago! There was too much information that Sachihiro had to process in the moment. Sachihiro slid slowly down the wall until he sat down on the floor and continued to listen to his parents nag Yoichi about sex. 

"You also were about to do it with no protection! Thank Maki's Dad for providing you with something before you two went on with it. That's why we got this."

Sachihiro heard light shuffling for a few seconds before it stopped, and his parents continued.

"Be safe next time, alright?" His parents said again, before shutting the door behind them and leaving.

_Shit shit shit shit-_

"Sachihiro?" Tooru burst aloud in surprise. "What are you doing here? I thought you left already."

"I- Um-" Sachihiro stammered. "I-I kind of, uh, I forgot my phone! In the room! Yeah, I'm gonna go get it now!"

Both his parents smiled. "Have fun!" His other Dad told him, and as they left Sachihiro finally noticed the empty box labeled 'CONDOMS' carried by one of his Dads and gulped.

He walked back to the bedroom door and almost sobbed trying to turn the knob. Once he opened it, he faced his younger twin yet again.

He noticed the unopened colorful condoms spilled on Yoichi's desk.

"Oh, _you're_ still here. What are-"

Sachihiro actually let out a loud sob before Yoichi could finish, and covered his eyes so he couldn't look back at him and grabbed his phone off his desk before leaving yet again.

Yoichi raised an eyebrow, before sighing and looking at the condoms set by his parents on his desk. 

"My family is so fucking weird."

* * *

 The next morning, at practice, Maki was approached by a rather paranoid looking Sachihiro.

Despite this, she smiled at him and talked to him as usual. "Hey, Hiro-kun! Can I help y-"

"PLEASE TAKE CARE OF HIM!" Sachihiro yelled unexpectedly.

"E-Excuse me?" Maki stuttered.

Sachihiro looked up at her with teary eyes, his hands on her shoulders, backing her up. 

"I hope he was good enough for you in bed, also he's not very good with PDA either, but he likes kissing on the cheek, I read about it in his old journal when he was a kid-"

"Woah,  _slow down."_ Maki stifled a short laugh, as she set Sachihiro's hands off her shoulders. "What are you talking about?"

Sachihiro scoffed.  _"Please,_ I'm not an idiot. I know what went on between you and Yoichi."

"W-What? How do you know-?"

"I heard it all! All of it! I know about all of it, Maki-chan!" Sachihiro cried.

Maki didn't know what to do. "P-Please calm down, I know you're upset-"

"Of  _course_ I know! But why didn't you tell me?!" 

"Because we knew you'd get upset like this!"

"I  _wouldn't_ be this upset if you just told me about it instead of me finding out after my family lent him condoms and taught him about underage sex last night!" Sachihiro wailed. 

"Wait- It's about- Oh,  _no,_ Sachihiro, I didn't know you meant that, we're not-" 

Sachihiro's hands went over his ears. "I don't want to hear it!"

Maki pulled his arms away from his ears and quickly told him, "We're not dating! And we never had sex!" 

Sachihiro looked at her with a blank stare.

Maki only groaned at his response before continuing. "He was at my house because he wanted advice on how to confess to his crush. My Dad caught us close together and thought we were about to bang."

"S-So... You're not dating?" Sachihiro asked quietly.

"No, but he does like someone." Quickly after realizing what she said, Maki covered her mouth.

"I said too much. Well, I better go-"

"Maki, WAIT! Who does Yoichi like?!"

"I said too much already! Bye!"

"Maki-!" Before Sachihiro could find out anything else, Maki already ran out the gym.

"Wow, great job, you scared off our manager." A voice blurted behind Sachihiro, before he turned around and found out it was just his kouhai.

"Yuki, do you know about any of this?" Sachihiro asked him.

"Huh? About any of what?" Yuki said with a puzzled expression.

Sachihiro looked around to see if anybody was watching, and then put his arm around Yuki and began whispering.

"Do you know who Yoichi likes?"

"Sorry, sworn to secrecy." Yuki told him.

 _Oh, so he's hiding it from me._ Sachihiro thought as he squinted his eyes.

"I'll pay you a thousand yen if you tell me." Sachihiro bribed.

"It's the captain of Karasuno. He's gonna confess on Friday. You didn't hear it from me." Yuki quickly admitted. "Now, where's my yen?"

* * *

"Okay, since we're here, do you mind telling us why we're at Karasuno after school behind bushes?" His other kouhai, Mikoto, asked.

"Shush! You might get us caught!" Sachihiro scolded him, crouching lower. "We're  _here_ because we can't let Yoichi and this captain get together!"

"I know you're his brother and you're overprotective of him, but really, this isn't our business-"

"This  _is_ our business, Yuki! And I'm  _not_ overprotective! I mean, don't you two see the problem here?"

Mikoto and Yuki looked at each other, and then shrugged.

"Ugh, the problem is that the guy is from  _Karasuno!_ This is our  _archenemy,_ we're talking about!" Sachihiro tried telling them.

"Isn't our archenemy Shiratorizawa?" Mikoto asked.

"Whatever! The point is, Yoichi dating someone from another team is a  _no-no!_ And we have to stop them!"

"How?"

Sachihiro let out a menacing smirk. "We're going to have to make that captain guy see how unattractive Yoichi really is!"

Yuki sighed. "That's too much work."

"I'll pay you both."

"Alright, how much?"

"Another thousand for both of you."

"Make it two thousand."

"I don't have that much money!"

"Either you pay or we leave."

"Fine, fine! I'll pay two thousand each! Now, come on! We have to go farther!" Sachihiro snapped, as he snuck his way into the entrance of Karasuno, Mikoto and Yuki following.

Sachihiro ran to the first few guys he saw at their lockers and approached them with ease.

"Can we borrow your uniforms?" He asked, Mikoto and Yuki raising an eyebrow at Sachihiro's antics.

"Excuse me?" One of the guys said, with a stifled laugh.

"We just need to borrow them for a little while, please!" Sachihiro begged.

"Dude, no way." Another one of them answered. As they all began to walk away, Sachihiro went back in front of them and halted them.

"I-If you lend us your uniforms, I'll get you all dates with girls!"

The three boys looked at each other, and then back at Sachihiro.  _"Hot_ girls?" One of them questioned.

"Sure, whatever you please! Just lend us the uniforms!" Sachihiro begged yet again, as Mikoto and Yuki looked at each other with uneasiness.

The three boys smirked. "Deal."

* * *

 "I don't think these clothes fit me."

"Quit complaining, we're not wearing them for long, anyway!" Sachihiro barked at Mikoto. "We just need them to blend in."

Just as Sachihiro finished his sentence, the last bell of the day for Karasuno rang, and students exited the classrooms.

"Everyone's leaving now! Quick, try to find that captain!" Sachihiro ordered his kouhai, as he looked for Karasuno's captain himself.

"There's too many people! We'll never find him!" Yuki told him.

"Bullshit! We can do it! C'mon, follow me!" Sachihiro told them as he went up the stairs, pushing his way through the third year students of Karasuno. 

Sachihiro didn't seem to care that Yuki and Mikoto were far away from where he was, being practically run over by the hoard of students. All he cared about was finding that damn captain.

Finally, he found the sight of familiar silver hair and tanned skin standing next to one of the classroom doors and talking to some other people, and grinned. 

"Guys, guys, I found him, come on!" He sang with excitement as Mikoto and Yuki squeezed their way out.

"Thanks for helping." The two first years growled in unison.

"Whatever, let's go!" Sachihiro told them before running up to Hotaru and swinging his arm over him.

"Oof! What the-"

"Hey, there, sweet thang!" Sachihiro chuckled awkwardly. 

"Do... I know you guys from somewhere?" Hotter asked with uncertainty.

"No! No, not at all! Pfft, what?! We're just normal students here!" Mikoto tried explaining.

"Okay," Hotaru said slowly. "And what do you want? And  _why_ is your arm around me when I don't know you?"

Sachihiro's fake grin turned into a frown as he unwrapped his arm from Hotaru's neck. 

Sachihiro cleared his throat before trying to keep a fake positive expression again. "But, anyways, isn't that guy from Aoba Jousai so  _unattractive?"_ Sachihiro tried to convince.

"I don't know who you're talking about." Hotaru replied with an awkward chortle.

"Y'know, that guy with the sharp teeth? That scary second year!" Sachihiro explained. "I heard he picks his nose and flings his boogers on the wall, no matter where he's at!"  
  
"I heard he doesn't wipe his ass after he takes a shit." Yuki added, laughing a bit after.

 _"I_ heard he kicks puppies for fun!" Mikoto suggested as well.

"Oh, um... That's... Great... But, I have to go somewhere." Hotaru said, looking at a crumpled paper in his hand. "Someone wants to meet me."

Sachihiro slammed his hand on the wall, blocking Hotaru's way. "Oh, but, do you even know who it is, or-?"

Hotaru glared at the three of them. "No, I don't. But what I  _do_ know is that the three of you are irritating me. Anyways, have a good afternoon." 

Hotaru walked past them, making Sachihiro seeth through his teeth. 

"We're following him. Let's go." Sachihiro instructed sternly.

The two first years rolled their eyes before following behind Sachihiro yet again.

They followed Hotaru up the stairs onto the rooftop, which was pretty cliche of a confession to Sachihiro.

The three stopped behind the stairway and looked over to see Hotaru's paused footsteps, and a grinning Yoichi on the other side.

Sachihiro's expression was unreadable as he looked at how charming Yoichi was at the moment.

"So _you_  were the one who put that note in my duffel bag." Hotaru said with a warm smile.

"Yeah, um," Yoichi awkwardly rubbed the back of his head as he spoke. "I'm Oikawa Yoichi, I'm on the volleyball team of Aoba Jousai, we played a couple practice matches." 

"Oh." Hotaru let out. "I heard... A lot about you!" He tried to laugh off.

"I-I see..." Yoichi said. "Listen... We don't know each other well... But... I've been admiring you ever since I first laid eyes on you... And... I wanted to ask if you would please-"

"YOICHI, NO!" Sachihiro cried, Hotaru and Yoichi breaking their gaze from each other to Hotaru.

 _Idiot!_ Mikoto and Yuki thought, staying behind.

Sachihiro ran up and hugged his twin brother, sobbing in his shoulder, "No, you can't date yet, you can't! I won't let you!"

"Dumbass! What are you doing here?! Did you follow me here?! I'm going to-"

"I-I'm sorry."

Mikoto, Yuki, Sachihiro, and Yoichi looked back at Hotaru, who was looking down with a sadder expression on his face.

"W-What?" Yoichi stammered, slightly pushing Sachihiro off of him.

"I... I'm not interested in other guys. Please forgive me." Were Hotaru's last words as he walked past Mikoto and Yuki down the stairs.

Sachihiro only looked at Yoichi's broken-hearted expression, and frowned.

"Yoichi... I..."

Yoichi looked down, and let out a slight chuckle. 

"I'm fine." Was all he said, before looking back up at Sachihiro with a soft smile. "Let's just go home!"

Mikoto and Yuki walked up to the two, no words coming out of them.

The sunset was a beautiful mix of orange and red as crows flew above the four boys.

* * *

 

"Yoichi, I'm still really sorry about what happened-"

"Forget it. It's nothing, really." Yoichi interrupted Sachihiro. "You were just trying to protect me. Who knew it wouldn't work out even if you weren't there!"

"But, Yoichi-"

"Look, I'm not some dumb cry baby like you." Yoichi told Sachihiro. "I'm fine. I mean, me being rejected is better than  _you_ being rejected to me."

Sachihiro felt himself about to cry again, his lips forming into a recognizable pout, before he hugged Yoichi tightly.

"Dumbass, that's too-"

"I love you, Yoichi! I love you so much!" Sachihiro said aloud.

Yoichi sighed, only patting his brother on the back. "I love you too, dumbass. Now let me go, we're not about to hop on the incest train."

Sachihiro retreated with a smile. "Sorry."

Yoichi grinned as well. "It's alright! C'mon, I'll make you something, I'll make you waffles."

"With ice cream?"

"With ice cream of course, waffles aren't anything without it!" 

**Author's Note:**

> JESUS CHRIST THIS SUCKS I'M SORRY  
> ESPECIALLY THAT ENDING IT'S SO CRAPPY AND CHEESY???? OH WELL  
> i had to name hanamaki and matsukawa's child maki i had to ok  
> http://www.tobioca.tumblr.com


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